Liars & Crooks

40 sayings for when that’s the situation. Every one comes with what it means, so you can use it right the first time.

“He'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.”

Lies even when the truth is easier.

“That dog won't hunt.”

That excuse or story doesn't hold up.

“Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'.”

Don't insult my intelligence with an obvious lie.

“Crooked as a dog's hind leg.”

Dishonest through and through.

“Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.”

Bent every which way — can't trust a thing about him.

“He's slicker than a pocketful of pudding.”

Smooth-talking and impossible to pin down.

“He's just blowin' smoke.”

Talking big with nothing behind it.

“Lies like a rug.”

Lies flat-out, constantly, without blinking.

“That rascal'd steal the nickels off a dead man's eyes.”

He'd rob even the helpless.

“He's slicker than a hog on ice.”

Slippery and hard to pin down.

“You cain't bury a skunk and expect the garden to smell sweet.”

WhatsApp chats launderin' cash for crime and extremism still leave a stink.

“A dirty bucket don't hold clean water long.”

Usin' chats to wash cash for crime and extremism don't stay lookin' honest.

“A man that weighs his own cotton always finds it heavier than it is.”

Amazon controlling the ad auction and rigging prices in its own favor is like weighin' your own crop.

“A crooked scale still reads even to the man that bent it.”

The $20 billion in rigged ad prices looked normal to Amazon 'cause they built the crookedness in.

“A wolf don't lose his teeth just 'cause he's sittin' by the fire.”

Them videos showed the 9/11 lawsuit fella still had his extremist bite.

“A man'll wait to slaughter the hog till the price at market suits him.”

Ending the war ain't about peace, it's about pickin' the day that helps him most come election time.

“Weather don't clear just 'cause you got church on Sunday.”

Wars don't wrap up neat 'round a calendar, no matter what Trump promises voters.

“There's more'n one way to burn a barn — some fires start with a match, some with a whisper.”

Points to how hybrid attacks work through quiet sabotage, not just open war.

“A snake in the grass don't need to rattle to git you bit.”

Hybrid attacks are dangerous precisely 'cause they ain't loud or obvious.

“Ever' liar swears the roof fell in on its own, right up till you find his ladder leanin' against the house.”

Officials claim treasures were lost to circumstance, ignoring the evidence of deliberate neglect or destruction.

“A rooster'll crow loud when the sun's already up, like he done the risin' himself.”

Claimin' credit for tough action that others pushed for all along.

“A rooster crowin' 'bout the sunrise didn't make it rise no earlier.”

Braggin' about controllin' Greenland don't make the control any more real than it was yesterday.

“Ya can roll out the good rug for a fox, but he'll still count yer hens on the way out.”

Trump gave Xi the fancy welcome, but Xi came countin' what he could carry off, not what he was handed.

“Feedin' a wolf off the good china don't make him a lamb.”

All the pomp of the visit didn't change that Xi's still after his own deal, not friendship.

“A fox don't invite the houndsdog to supper.”

The White House ain't about to let a critical reporter travel with 'em.

“A closed gate don't stop the dog from barkin', it just moves him to the fence.”

Barrin' CNN from the plane won't stop 'em from reportin', just from a front-row seat.

“A borrowed barn don't make the cow yours.”

Using public money for what looks like personal promotion doesn't make it proper, no matter what it's labeled.

“Ya can paint the outhouse gold, it's still an outhouse.”

Dressing up self-serving ads with official trappings don't change what they really are.

“When the herd dies in the storm, don't blame the weather if the gate was left open.”

Her parents aren't buyin' that war alone killed her — they blame the network's choices.

“Folks that profit off the storm ain't the ones standin' in the rain.”

The network got the story while she paid the cost, say her grievin' parents.

“Two crows cawin' the same tune ain't singin' by accident.”

Rival brewers matchin' prices wasn't coincidence—it was a cartel singin' from the same sheet.

“A debt left in the barn don't rot, it just waits for the collector.”

Old war crimes allegations from 1994 are only now reaching trial.

“You can plow a crooked row all season, but harvest time shows it plain.”

Years of alleged wrongdoing are about to be laid bare at trial.

“A full cellar draws thieves like a full henhouse draws foxes.”

Thirty thousand bottles sittin' together was just beggin' for crooked hands.

“A thirsty thief don't stop at one jug.”

These crooks didn't just sip a bottle, they hauled off a whole vineyard's worth.

“He's so crooked he could hide behind a corkscrew.”

Abramovich's papers got twisted all around to hide his wealth from the taxman.

“Don't buy yer hay from the feller who just burned yer barn.”

Backlash over fetchin' diesel from Russia, a rival who's done the country plenty of harm already.

“You can't keep the gate shut forever when the whole herd's leanin' on it.”

Lawmakers couldn't hold the line against pressure to repeal the measures.

“He's awful quick to promise rain when the sky's still clear.”

Burnham's bold claim of repair sounds good but hasn't delivered yet.

“When the well runs dry, the gossip at the pump dries up with it.”

No power, no bots — the source of Russia's online lies just stopped flowing.