Plumb Crazy

39 sayings for when that’s the situation. Every one comes with what it means, so you can use it right the first time.

“Crazy as a betsy bug.”

Completely, cheerfully unhinged.

“Crazy as an outhouse rat.”

The worst kind of crazy — the kind that lives where it shouldn't.

“She's one brick shy of a load.”

Almost all there, but that one brick matters.

“Nutty as a fruitcake.”

Packed full of nuts, just like the Christmas dessert.

“He ain't quite right, bless his heart.”

Southern for 'that man is unwell,' said with love and judgment.

“Crazier than a sprayed roach.”

Running in circles, bouncing off walls, no plan at all.

“He's got a screw loose somewhere.”

Something in the machinery isn't tightened down.

“He's plumb crazy as a peach-orchard boar.”

Someone whose behavior makes no sense at all, wild and unpredictable.

“He ain't got both oars in the water.”

Someone not thinking straight or missing common sense.

“Keep the ram outta his own pasture.”

They had to check they weren't brother and sister after fallin' in love.

“A crop duster don't need to buzz the church steeple to prove it can fly.”

The airline didn't need to fly low over a packed stadium just to show off their skill.

“Showin' off in front of a full pen only spooks the cattle.”

Doing a stunt in front of a packed stadium crowd only scares and endangers folks, doesn't impress them.

“You can't wash blood off your hands by sayin' you only held the lantern.”

Claimin' she was 'just filmin'' the mosque attack ain't gonna clean her of the charges bein' brought.

“You can't tell a mule's madness from its meanness till it's already kicked the stall down.”

The public's split on whether she was truly out of her mind or just cruel, and by then the damage was done.

“Two men can stare at the same storm — one calls it wrath, the other calls it weather.”

The country's split down the middle on whether to call her a victim of illness or a criminal plain and simple.

“A loud rooster at sunup don't mean he owns the whole barnyard.”

The AfD's makin' a racket celebratin' their projected win in Germany's state election, but we'll see.

“Strange stock don't appear in the barn without a night ride.”

Findin' baby orangutans where they don't belong points straight to smuggling.

“A hog don't end up in the chicken coop without a hand pushin' it.”

Baby orangutans in an Indian forest didn't stroll in; traffickers put 'em there.

“When the pasture opens its mouth, the whole herd stays clear.”

Nature swallowed a patch of ground outside what might be Nicolas Cage's home.

“Don't hand a match to a fella soaked in lamp oil.”

Anthropic blocked a possible attempt to use AI to make biological weapons.

“Don't let a rattler nest under the porch.”

Anthropic kept AI from bein' used to brew biological weapons.

“Sweet well water can still carry the fever.”

Somethin' that tastes good or feels helpful, like the antioxidant, might still carry hidden danger the union's worried about.

“Once the cow kicks the pail, you quit milkin'.”

They kept the Hyrox race going even after she soiled herself.

“You stop the church picnic when the hog gets in the food.”

They shouldn't have let the Hyrox race go on after she soiled herself.

“A coyote don't leave the henhouse after just one meal.”

Ninth woman's body found while South African police look into a string of deaths.

“Buzzards ain't circlin' that pasture for the scenery.”

Cops investigating the deaths after turning up a ninth woman's body.

“A dog'll growl at ya right up till supper's called.”

Both sides keep snarlin' at each other but still show up when the meetin' bell rings.

“Ya can shake a man's hand and still watch which pocket he's got his knife in.”

Diplomacy with Iran happens even as mistrust from the ongoin' war stays sharp.

“A field full of scarecrows don't make a harvest.”

AI can stand there lookin' busy, but the Pope says it ain't got a human soul.

“A mule can pull all day, but it takes a man to know when to stop.”

The Pope's point: AI might work, but losin' our humanity over it is plumb crazy.

“When the whole henhouse starts crowin' at once, ain't nobody sure who laid the egg.”

Brazil's election had so much noise and chaos nobody could tell who really won till the dust settled.

“Turn over a rock and them bugs go scurryin'.”

The 'Cockroach' group leaders were among hundreds detained in the Delhi protest.

“He'd set the barn afire just to be shed of a few rats.”

Germany's puttin' a Ukrainian on trial accused of blowin' up the Nord Stream pipelines.

“He'd rather wreck the millrace than let the neighbor grind corn.”

Germany has accused a Ukrainian of destroyin' the Nord Stream pipelines.

“Don't make a county fair outta a hangin'.”

Retired generals say livestreaming an execution is barbaric and the Pentagon ought to cancel it.

“Ain't no need to ring the church bell when they're butcherin' the hog.”

The generals argue there's nothing decent about broadcasting an execution live.

“They're fussin' like two hens over a nest that ain't even theirs.”

Kelly Clarkson and the Brooklyn shop had a surreal row over a mechanical bird.

“Goin' at each other like roosters at dawn, and all for a bird that don't crow.”

That surreal tiff at the Brooklyn shop involved Kelly Clarkson and a mechanical bird.

“A man who changes his mind mid-churn ends up with buttermilk and no butter.”

Backin' out of showin' the firing squad live leaves folks with nothin' to show for all that talk.